..What I learned was .. That honesty and frankness frightened the adults, who wanted the pretending to continue.

When we are honest and frank with each other, we can build strong relationships. We know where we stand. We know how to meet each other's needs, and how to fulfill each other's dreams. Without that, we blunder and unintentionally hurt ourselves and others.

One of the most important issues in family and organizational life is trust. You don't build trust by hiding your feelings, your thoughts, your hopes, your fears. You build trust by sharing, by being honest and frank. Yes it is important to be tactful. But tact and confidentiality should not prevent you from being honest and frank in most of your daily relationships.

Of course, being honest and frank makes you vulnerable. You show your hand. That means it is easier for people to figure out how to attack and hurt you. When you step out from behind your defenses, you are exposed. But vulnerability can be good. When you are vulnerable, it is easier to connect with people, to get to know them, and to learn from them. And they will find it easier to connect with you.

In a world of conflict, it is tempting to build up one's defenses and go around in a suit of armor. But there is a problem with that. A suit of armor protects you by containing you. You can only grow so much, and then you have to get out of the armor if you want to grow any further.

Once out of your armor, you will feel vulnerable but with vulnerability comes the freedom to grow. As you enjoy both personal and professional growth, you will discover that you don't need the armor anymore. Your strength will come from inside.